how i wish

3.08 a.m.
i cant sleep.
i am nt happy.
hate that i am nt "other".

xxxx

it has been a week.
tired to be a clown.
i found that i almost forgot how to smile.

xxxx

life is tiring.
studies is still making me feel stressed.
and i am still telling jokes in front of you.
who knows i dun really feel like laughing at all actually.

xxxx

it's just a dream.
i can only get what i want in the dream but nt the real life.
it's so called reality.

xxxx

3.20 a.m.
i am still here.
with confused mind.
and hurt fingers.

xxxx

i am lost.
how i wish i am cold-blooded.
how i wish i have no feeling towards everything.

xxxx

3.30 a.m.
time to go bed.
though i am nt sleepy yet.

xxxx

this is the ending.
good night and sweet dreams.